Post by CEZAR on Jun 19, 2014 8:45:54 GMT -6
Five Signs of a Nightmare Sports Parent by Coach Candrea
6/16/2014
Coach Mike Candrea and Team USA
I decided to ask some former players a simple question: “What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?”
The overwhelming response: “The ride home from games with my parents.”
The same former players were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that made them enjoy the game and even over perform. The overwhelming response – “I love to watch you play.”
In this article, I would like to focus on the nightmare sports parent and next month talk about the ideal sports parent. Nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13. Some find that their skill level hits a plateau and the game is no longer fun. Others simply discover other interests. But too many promising young athletes turn away from sports because their parents become insufferable. The parents or parent that is so loving and rational at home becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back. It is sad to say but a lot of kids internally reach the conclusion that if they quit the sport, maybe they will get their Dad or Mom back!
As a sport parent, this is what you don’t want to become. Here are a few thoughts that you may try to avoid to make your child’s experience a good one. After all, Softball is nothing more than a platform to learn how to be successful. Team work, work ethic, handling the ups and downs in performance – these are skills that we will draw to later in life.
Overemphasizing sports at the expense of sportsmanship: The best athletes keep their emotions in check and handle the ups and downs, win or lose. Parents that are demonstrative in showing displeasure during a contest are sending the wrong message. Encouragement is crucial – especially when things are not going well on the field.
Having different goals than your child: Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC, suggest jotting down a list of what you want for your child during their sport season. Your son or daughter can do the same. Vastly different lists are a red flag. Kids generally want to have fun, enjoy their time with their friends, improve their skills and win. Parents who write down “getting a scholarship” or “making the All-Star team” probably need to adjust their goals. “Athletes say their parents believe their role on the team is larger than what the athlete knows it to be,” Miller says.
Treating your child differently after a loss than a win: Almost all parents love their children the same regardless of the outcome of the game. Yet often their behavior conveys something else. Many young athletes indicate that conversations with their parents after a game somehow make them feel as if their value as a person is tied to playing time or winning.
Undermining the coach: Young athletes need a single instructional voice during games. That voice has to be the coach. Kids who listen to their parents yelling instructions from the stands or even glancing at their parents for approval from the field are distracted and can’t perform at a peak level. If you are second-guessing the coach on the ride home – maybe you need to coach a team!
Living your athletic dream through your child: A sure sign is the parent taking credit when the child has done well. Another symptom is when the outcome of the game means more to a parent than to the child. If you as a parent are still depressed by a loss when the child is already off playing with friends, remind yourself that it’s not your career and you have zero control over the outcome. Your job is to encourage and support your child!
Next month we will focus on the ideal sports parent!
Until Next Month,
Coach Mike Candrea
responsible-sports.libertymutual.com/article/1982/Five-Signs-of-a-Nightmare-Sports-Parent-by-Coach-Candrea?src